Keeping Perspective about Failure
During a meeting with a colleague recently, his wife came up in conversation, and I casually asked about her line of work. He named a health-related profession, but then mentioned that she used to work in our field. About 10 years ago, a new position within the field didn’t work out for her, and she decided to take the failure as an opportunity to go back to school and switch career paths. The change has worked out well, and she’s thriving in her practice.
It was a short exchange, the disclosure of a happy story of professional evolution. But what struck me as I reflected on the conversation is that, though things have turned out well for my colleague’s wife, the process of challenge in one field and then transition to a new one probably felt anything but happy and tidy at the time of occurrence. When does a position “not working out” ever feel smooth, satisfying and comfortable?
The lesson here, of course, is one of perspective regarding failure. When a single event, let alone an entire role, doesn’t work out well for me, I have a tendency to take the failure very personally and very seriously. I lose sleep wondering what I could have done differently, I mentally replay conversations, and I rehash the details of the setback over and over and over again with my friends and family members.
While it’s natural to take some time to emotionally process challenges in the workplace (or any place, for that matter), it’s also good to maintain a sense of perspective.
Why?
Because failure is a normal part of life, especially if we’re being courageous and taking worthwhile risks, and when we get too caught up in our failures (whether they involve a flopped event or an entire role not working out) we don’t have the clarity of mind to see possibilities and start fresh. And along the way, we make ourselves absolutely miserable.
Next time I’m experiencing a setback at work, I’m going to ask myself: how would my husband describe my experience to a colleague ten years from now? Considering that he and I will likely have both forgotten the incident, this question is sure to give me some perspective.
Teresa lives in Pennsylvania where she works as a Director of Faith Formation at a Catholic Church and dabbles in hospital chaplaincy. She has a BA in English, a Master’s in Divinity, and a passion for thinking about the intersection of spirituality, self-improvement, and well-being. Her perfect day includes slowly savoring a morning cup of coffee, reading for work and for fun, and receiving snail mail.