Speaker Spotlight: Q&A with Sterling Clinton Spellman, Speaker, Author, Innovator

Sterling Clinton Spellman is a shining model for all of what it means to take action when you have profound moments of career clarity. Year-after-year and job-after-job, Sterling kept having this feeling that no job was going to pay her what she was worth as she lived her life’s purpose. So she took action.

Today, Sterling is the Founder/Owner of POLISHEDbySterling , a national speaker, bestselling author, innovative business coach, consultant and total game-changer who empowers women and girls, particularly of color, to uncover their true essence.

We are so honored to have Sterling join us at our Oct. 28 leadership intensive, “Let’s Change the Leadership Game.” Learn more about Sterling and her passion for helping women and girls recognize their gifts…

To begin, can you tell our readers about your background and how that ultimately led you to starting your own business?

I served as an educator and youth advocate in the public and private sector for over 12 years before I pursued her dreams of becoming a full time “mommypreneur,” an entrepreneur and at home mom. I have always been dedicated to empowering women and girls to pursue their dreams. 

I believe wholeheartedly that personal development, aka the process of becoming self-aware, is the one key to success. Everything I do and create focuses on the holistic well-being of the women and girls of color. My goal is for them to be well in mind, body, and soul. With that comes the focus on personal development. Traditionally, professional development has been the only focus. I wanted to create a business and a community for women to change the narrative and focus on the development of the person.

Empowering women and girls to take control of their lives holistically changes them, their families, their communities, and ultimately the world. My focus on women and girls of color is because I know, representation matters. You can’t be who you don’t see. When I was looking for mentors and coaches, I rarely could find women that looked like me or could understand the unique struggle of Black women in America. So I created the space!

On June 10, 2016, you stopped being an employee and started your own business. What led you to that decision and what lessons can you impart with others about that critical moment? 

My decision to quit did not happen overnight! It was a long time coming. It was a process for me to stop getting mad and for me to finally Get my life!! It took some inner work for me to be mentally prepared to say Yes to my purpose! If you are considering making the leap to follow your dreams, you too will have to do some inner work, stop getting mad, and make a decision to get your life. 

You see I always knew I was psychologically unemployable. I knew that no job was going to pay me what I was worth as I lived my life’s Purpose! I had to go out, show up big in the world, and create the life I desired!

Can you relate?

You know there is a greater purpose for your life! You know you are a change agent. You know that the jobs you have and have had in the past are stepping stones and skill builders for your greater calling but somewhere along the way you allowed your purpose, your dreams, your ideas to lay dormant, as your day to day activity takes the lead in your life. For many of us, our jobs become our life. It drains us so much that even if we are trying to build our dream after hours, it does not work because we become burned out, used, and abused. So we shrink, take crap and get mad. I WAS MAD! 

Here I was, once again with tears streaming down my face, stomach upside down, heart aching, wondering, how did I find myself in this place again? This had become routine. Every morning I would get to work on time, but I would sit in the car and cry. I would hide behind my dark tinted windows and cry hoping a parent or a student would not see. I felt like my soul was dying. Every day I put blood, sweat, and tears into my job and was still unfulfilled. My feelings of sadness quickly morphed into anger! 

I was mad that once again I was at a place in my life where I was treated unfairly, underpaid, and I was working 40 plus hours a week. I was mad because I allowed myself to be in this position again. You see it wasn’t the first time I entrusted other people with my happiness, my validation, my worthiness, my time, and most importantly my soul’s purpose. 

When I looked back I could see a trend. Whether it was when I was a 14-year-old little girl working at McDonald's, right after college working in the welfare office, teaching at the public school in the Bronx, or as a Diversity director working at a private school in Rhode Island; I always felt like there was more for me to be doing. I felt stifled by the lack of freedom to express my greater purpose. The other thing that blew my mind was I felt like there was always someone ready to let me know I was not good enough. Oftentimes, I fell for it and I allowed the opinions of others to seep into my very being to make me feel like less than.

I had become too slack, too comfortable, too complacent with where I was in life, as my life’s purpose laid dormant. I was waiting for someone to tell me I was good enough. I was waiting to be appreciated, I was waiting for them to actually pay me for the value I brought to the table.

Here’s the thing I was not going to be appreciated. So why did I need their validation? Too many of us are waiting for a job to validate us. I believe jobs should serve as skills and experienced builders. They should not define or validate your existence! 

There is so much I can share on this topic but I will leave you with this… 

Free Yourself from other people’s opinions!

When you decide to make your transition everyone and their momma will have something to say. You must have a rock-solid belief in yourself. You must believe in your magic, your gifts, and your talents! Block out the naysayers and haters! Remember God gave you the vision, so if they do not understand your path that is totally fine. It is not for them to understand. The only opinion that truly matters is yours!

Your purpose is "to help people uncover their true essence." What does that mean to you and why do you feel most people never get there?

I created POLISHEDbySterling because I recognized that there were many women who are experiencing life through their tarnished exterior and experiences, but just like silver sometimes all we need is a little bit of Polishing to uncover our true essence. What do I mean?

For instance, you always knew you were born to be great! You were born to lead! You know you have a unique purpose and gift that you must share with the world, but for some reason, you always end up feeling stuck hiding in the shadows of others. Opportunities to play big in the world and to let your light shine are literally all around you. But due to negative experiences your self-esteem, confidence, and your ability to lead can sometimes get tarnished. 

My concept of POLISHED teaches how discovering your unique gifts/talents and skills will uncover your true essence. Most teach how to acquire new skills; I teach how to embrace and develop the gifts you have. Once you embrace those gifts and talents you will understand the importance of enhancing your gifts and talents by the removal of the negative concept of yourself, therefore celebrating your successful attempts at leading and reinforcing them to uncover the true essence of who you have ALWAYS been.

Most people never get there because they don’t do the inner work! The inner work is personal, self-development, working on your mindset, transforming from the inside out. Like the great Les Brown says, “There is nothing as powerful as a changed mind. You can change your hair, your clothing, your zip code, your spouse but if you do not change your mindset you will perpetuate the same experience over and over again because everything  outwardly changed but nothing inwardly changed.”

A lot of your work involves speaking and educating on the power of authenticity. What does authentic leadership mean to you and why do you think so many people struggle to show their true self?

Authentic Leadership means reflective leadership to me. It means being self-aware, knowing your strengths and weaknesses! There is no need to pretend to be something or someone you are not. When you are aware of who you are, you can show up authentically without the mask and persona’s you created as a protective mechanism against societal norms and judgments. Many struggle to show their true selves because they have yet to do the inner work to embrace who they really are. 

BONUS: What is next for you?

New partnerships and collaborations are what I am nurturing in the next coming months and into 2021! I am super excited for the new opportunities I have manifested and attracted into my life!

I had a baby in December 2019 and decided I was going to scale back on many projects. I also decided that I will be in the flow, all while being a magnet to attract the things that are meant for me and will keep me in alignment with my overall goals! The thought of slowing down stressed me at first but has been so rewarding. Let me tell you even with the absolute craziness and uncertainty of 2020 I have been blessed and I have had one of my best years yet!

Perspective is everything!

To connect with Sterling, click here.

Nexus members, to register for “Let’s Change the Leadership Game,” where you will have the chance to hear Heather speak, click here.